On Being a Not So Nice Guy.....!!!!

I gave a second thought to the title I had chosen for my blog. Rather one of my best friends brought to my attention, rather rudely I must say , that even though my blog was named “Me.. My Inner Self “…there was nothing regarding my SELF, leave alone INNER SELF. It had all sounded good at the time I started this blog. I mean shrouded in mystery and things to be revealed and all .Now that I’ve given it another thought, I realize that baring my inner self or rather my soul scares the shit out of me. Simply because of the fact that some of my thoughts might be so over people’s heads that many would fail to understand that my thoughts are too chaotic to even start filtering out. But then to do justice to my blog title it is imperative that I do bare whatever I’m comfortable baring( my thoughts of course ).

I’ve thought many a time about whether I’m a nice guy or not. Rather whether it’s worth being a nice guy or not. Being brought up as a single son and by parents who were anything but modern and flashy I’ve never felt the need to explore too much or have the kind of fun that kids have these days. The occasional outing or a picnic to someplace new with some of our close family friends was my idea of fun. And anything other than that, including hanging out with friends and spending night overs at their place was unheard of in my family. I’ve missed out on quite a lot owing to this and being a single child made me all the more dependent on my parents. So much so that I didn’t dare go against their wishes whether I liked them or not. But because of all this there was this strong sense of having to be nice especially when I had role models like my parents who were the very epitome of the word nice. That was a time when I used to think that being nice would solve a whole lot of problems and used to firmly believe in the age old adage of “ What Goes Around Comes Around “.I started expecting everyone to be nice to me just because I was good to them. Ill feelings were never harbored against anyone. But then somewhere along the way I realized that being a nice guy had its share of problems. Things are never as easy as getting a lot of good things in return for being nice to someone. I don’t remember when exactly but it was sometime during my graduation that I first started looking into myself. I saw in me a guy who wanted to help out a lot of people but a guy who seemed to be misunderstood and had to end up being caught in the wrong places at all the wrong times. Realization also dawned that in today’s world being nice meant being a pushover and that people tend to take you for granted. This was probably the infant stage of self-realization. However this realization matured and I was finally able to see clearly where I had to draw the boundary between being nice and being bad , or rather, not-so-nice. The world today moves fast. You stay nice and you stay where you are. You throw off some of that nicety and then you’re ready to take on life head on. Being nice is really not advisable in this ruthless world which can pull you down 3-4 rungs for every rung of life that you climb. And, in my case, being nice has probably done more harm than good anyway.

But Kudos to my parents for making me whatever I am now and hoping I’ll stay that way. I’ll also use this post to wish them an advance Happy 24^th Wedding Anniversary which is coming up on the 22^nd of this month.

On that note, this is me signing off…….Adios……:)

I’ll start off this post with something I should have said in my previous post. Its a gift I received from my friends for my birthday. My first Titan FastTrack watch. I would be lying if I said i wasn’t expecting a gift, but definitely didn’t think it would be such a good one. Loads of Thanks guys for it.

When I thought about my next post here I was thinking of introducing my INNER self to all the readers. It really wouldn’t be fair to have a blog titled Me-My Inner Self and not talk about this inner self of mine. And this is what prompted me to post from the Computer Lab of SCMS Cochin. But as I was writing and of course listening to music, a song or rather a mantra for the youth now – “ Aal iZZ well “ from the movie 3 Idiots came up. Well, it was motivation enough and now here I am planning to write about this very song. Another of a long list of last minute changes in plans that usually happens with me. The songs of 3 idiots have been penned by Swanand Kirkire and set to tune by Shantanu Moitra. And it’s the latest rage in town with almost everyone tapping their feet to the heady rhythm of “ Aal iZZ well “ sung by Sonu Nigam, Shaan and Swanand Kirkire. And if you thought the song was just about rhythm, then NO, it isn’t. Its lyrics will bring a smile to anyone. The other songs in 3 idiots are also topping the charts with the “Give me some sunshine, Give me some rain ,Give me another chance , I wanna grow up once again “ number bringing back memories of good old school days, at least for me. The song has been sung by Suraj Jagan. Another song whose rendering is simply amazing is “ Behti Hawa Sa Tha Woh “which talks of a long lost friend and about how important he was to everyone. Sung by Shaan the song is soothing to the mind.

About the movie enough has been said already and it really isn’t a good idea for me to do a movie review. It was a great movie with just the right mix of everything and with a lot of hilarious instances that would get anyone laughing out loud. And I don’t think anyone would disagree when I say that the speech scene in which VIRUS is left at a loss for words is one of THE best. Even though the vacuum cleaner sequence is exaggerated a lot, I think it could be ignored considering how entertaining the rest of the movie is .I shall let you all watch the movie and laugh your hearts out before I tell u the whole story

This is The Phoenix signing off for now……

Looking Back at 2009....

As the curtain falls on yet another year and 2010 dawns bright its time I kept up my resolution of entering blogosphere and what better way to do it than by recapping life in 2009. A not-so-good year with its fair share of ups and downs with maybe the downside dominating a little more.

It was bound to be a bad one, what with waking up on January 1^st, 2009 with twenty minutes to spare to reach college which has rules stricter than a jail. However the day turns out just fine. The first couple of months were the usual grind with a lot of assignments and presentations with lots of exams also to boot.There were also some outings with friends that were very memorable especially a visit to Willingdon Island. This was followed up by a rural study camp which as luck would have it was at Trivandrum itself. That translated to a week of spending quality time at Home Sweet Home. Having two of my friends over at home for a week was fun, with night drives and hangouts. However the best thing that happened that week was me becoming the owner of a new phone after a bad experience with a good phone I had earlier. It will just suffice to say that my earlier phone went for a swim after which it was never the same again. However a cracked windshield on account of a mango, YES a mango , falling on the car was enough to dampen spirits .Dad understood and I didn’t get fired too much over it, and so armed with a shiny new Nokia Xpress Music handset I came back to college. With just a few more weeks to go for Term Three exams it was then a mad rush to complete pending works which meant there were days when a person had around four presentations to take. Once that was out of the way, Term Three exams happened.

By this time I was a pretty popular figure. Sadly not among students but among the upper rank of staff including the two deans and the director of the institution. Starting with an innocent All The Best to a classmate who was leaving us, to turning back during a seminar, these were just a few instances in which I got my a$$ royally kicked by the management. With my newfound popularity I had to watch my back at all times. Those were some pretty rough times. Term Three ended all too soon and it was then time to embark on our project or rather internship.

I was lucky enough to get a company in Bangalore so that I could stay with my aunt and uncle. Throw in the good stipend that I was getting and it seemed that life was looking up again. I consider myself very lucky to have got such a very dynamic bunch of batch mates at Bangalore with a range of people right from a psycho to a sleepyhead!! It was because of them that 3 months passed in what seemed like a snap of a finger. Bangalore was all of mall hopping, eating and shopping. The KFC’s and the McDonald’s can be proud that they had the privilege of having witnessed PIGS in action. At the end of the project period I’m sure all of us could navigate through Brigade Road even while sleeping. Then there was the epic Nandi hills trip which was organized in such a way that any manager would feel proud. One day of total excitement and fun with loads of photo posing finishing off with an even more grand lunch (at 5:30pm) from a dhaba on our way back. Hogging, in all its righteous meaning!!

Life in Bangalore was all fun and frolic and those were some days that will never ever go out of my mind and the relationships and bonding that happened in that time will stay strong forever. A big Thank You to everyone who was in Bangalore, not to forget the few who came up to Bangalore from Chennai to be a part of the fun.

It was then time to return back to the jail that was SCMS for a slew of work not unlike the previous terms. Nothing was as difficult as adjusting to the routine of SCMS after three months of non-stop fun. However humans being the ever adjusting species, life got into the SCMS groove fairly quickly. The first month after the project was taken up by project reports, getting approvals, meeting deadlines and the like. Final Project Report duly submitted, we were just about to sit back and relax when project vivas followed and of course the Term Four work. And as if all this wasn’t enough ghosts of my past, read the deans and the director, came back to haunt me in the form of a simple punishment which then blew over to an even bigger issue which i sure hope has been laid to rest by now.

However as all things come to an end, 2009 is definitely ending, though on a happy note. Hoping 2010 turns out much better, this is Phoenix signing off on his first post here.Au Revoir……..

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010!!!!