On Being a Not So Nice Guy.....!!!!

I gave a second thought to the title I had chosen for my blog. Rather one of my best friends brought to my attention, rather rudely I must say , that even though my blog was named “Me.. My Inner Self “…there was nothing regarding my SELF, leave alone INNER SELF. It had all sounded good at the time I started this blog. I mean shrouded in mystery and things to be revealed and all .Now that I’ve given it another thought, I realize that baring my inner self or rather my soul scares the shit out of me. Simply because of the fact that some of my thoughts might be so over people’s heads that many would fail to understand that my thoughts are too chaotic to even start filtering out. But then to do justice to my blog title it is imperative that I do bare whatever I’m comfortable baring( my thoughts of course ).

I’ve thought many a time about whether I’m a nice guy or not. Rather whether it’s worth being a nice guy or not. Being brought up as a single son and by parents who were anything but modern and flashy I’ve never felt the need to explore too much or have the kind of fun that kids have these days. The occasional outing or a picnic to someplace new with some of our close family friends was my idea of fun. And anything other than that, including hanging out with friends and spending night overs at their place was unheard of in my family. I’ve missed out on quite a lot owing to this and being a single child made me all the more dependent on my parents. So much so that I didn’t dare go against their wishes whether I liked them or not. But because of all this there was this strong sense of having to be nice especially when I had role models like my parents who were the very epitome of the word nice. That was a time when I used to think that being nice would solve a whole lot of problems and used to firmly believe in the age old adage of “ What Goes Around Comes Around “.I started expecting everyone to be nice to me just because I was good to them. Ill feelings were never harbored against anyone. But then somewhere along the way I realized that being a nice guy had its share of problems. Things are never as easy as getting a lot of good things in return for being nice to someone. I don’t remember when exactly but it was sometime during my graduation that I first started looking into myself. I saw in me a guy who wanted to help out a lot of people but a guy who seemed to be misunderstood and had to end up being caught in the wrong places at all the wrong times. Realization also dawned that in today’s world being nice meant being a pushover and that people tend to take you for granted. This was probably the infant stage of self-realization. However this realization matured and I was finally able to see clearly where I had to draw the boundary between being nice and being bad , or rather, not-so-nice. The world today moves fast. You stay nice and you stay where you are. You throw off some of that nicety and then you’re ready to take on life head on. Being nice is really not advisable in this ruthless world which can pull you down 3-4 rungs for every rung of life that you climb. And, in my case, being nice has probably done more harm than good anyway.

But Kudos to my parents for making me whatever I am now and hoping I’ll stay that way. I’ll also use this post to wish them an advance Happy 24^th Wedding Anniversary which is coming up on the 22^nd of this month.

On that note, this is me signing off…….Adios……:)